Friday, March 28, 2008

Friendships at Post

Several months ago, if you had told me that someday one of my closest friends would be a 26-year old illiterate woman who didn’t shave her armpits, I probably would have had trouble believing you. However, this is the reality for me in my village in Benin. It really is amazing that you can forge significant friendships with so many different types of people.

I’m really enjoying my community in large part because of these friendships. Originally, coming into Benin, I thought that my post would be where I worked, but that most of my fun, social interaction would be with other volunteers. It’s a pretty typical American mentality—find the other Americans and hang out with them. That’s why we always do study abroad programs in large groups, I guess.

I’ve slowly realized that while there is a lot of value in friendships with other volunteers, the most rewarding ones are with the locals that I meet at post. This realization has led me to appreciate cultural differences even more, and to look for ways in which I can let go of my preconceived notion of what a meaningful friendship should be, and instead embrace the opportunity to create different types of relationships that are just as meaningful.

Felicite, the woman I mentioned above, was friends with the volunteer before me, and pretty soon was coming over every day for a while just to chat. She is a single mother with a 7-year old son who has club feet and a 9-month old baby. One of the most interesting and most fun projects, as well as one of the most simple, I have begun with her. She told me that she would someday like to be able to write her name, so I’ve begun teaching her the alphabet, and working with her so that she’ll be able to do that. It’s not quite the type of work I’d ever thought I’d do, and it’s not what most people think of when they think of development, but it’s definitely one of my projects I love the most.

Other friendships have similarly involved. Victor is another of my close friends at post. He’s a very dynamic NGO president, with a clear heart to improve his community, and I’ve come to rely on him for a lot of things, and feel very comfortable talking to him about nearly everything. I also enjoy going and spending time with other friends at their shops or work stands. All in all, I’m finding more and more value every day in the friendships that I’ve made with Beninese people, and have come to learn that they often provide greater wisdom and insight when I need it than I ever expected. I’m truly thankful for them, and they are a big reason why I love my post so much.

Sorry I haven’t been updating my blog lately. I actually spent the last two months at post without leaving, and it looks like I’ll be doing things more in that vein from now on. Perhaps not two months, but I don’t think I’ll make it to a computer every two weeks like I had originally planned. This is not to discourage all of you from emailing me and keeping me updated on your lives—please do, I love hearing from you.

I hope everyone is doing well, staying healthy, and getting ready for summer! God bless,

Sebastian

3 comments:

DaWheeze said...

That's awesome, it is surprising how friendships start, fail, and change; sometimes with people you'd never expect. I'm glad you've got solid friends to talk to

Sharon Rushcamp said...

Your blog entry about friendships really made me stop in my tracks, pause .... and think about the influence of consumerism and the fast pace of life in the USA and other developed countries on friendships. Meeting people from the heart - that's what it's all about. No doubt these experiences in Benin will shape the rest of your life. What an amazing experience - difficult but also rewarding. Not many could do what you're doing.

Anonymous said...

Hi! Great blog. I'm a national of Benin living in France and I find it very interesting the way volunteers describe their work in Benin. I'm actually doing a research on the Peace Corps in Benin and would love it if you could answer a few questions for me.
Here's my e-mail: fifatingrace@yahoo.fr

Please, get in touch with me and I'll send you the questions.
Thanks.